Dear iPhone Army, we are sad AF
my thoughts on immediacy, self-awareness and that goddamned perpetual connectivity…
Recently I’ve been growing ever more disheartened with the way smartphones have changed us. Am I one of those technophobes, who sees the devil behind the black mirror? Of course not. I love technology. I find it fascinating to be caught in this sweeping current of progress and innovation. Sadly, it is not in our human nature to know when to stop, where to draw the line.
Burning Man is a big part of my life, and I do try to live by its ten principles as much as possible in my day-to-day. One of those principles is Immediacy. According to Burning Man values, ‘immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture’. Unfortunately, looking at the world around me, I have to say that for most people this touchstone has long but turned into dust. In the world covered by the cloud immediacy is hard to come by.
Last month, I went downtown without my iPhone, and it felt as if I’ve been gifted a ticket to a theme park. The theme was being present; the park was Vancouver, the city I live in. And what a ride it was! It made me think — yet again, — of how much of this beautiful mundane we miss every day, simply because there is always a better entertainment option right there in our pocket. People don’t know how to daydream anymore, because when do you ever get a chance to do that? When was the last time you gazed aimlessly at the world through the bus window, noticing new details of the familiar streets? Allowed yourself to study the lines on the face of a stranger, wondered about their life story, heck, maybe even felt compelled to ask them about it? When was the last time you went to a concert and didn’t have to watch the show through the veil of glowing cameraphones? Or found yourself at a breathtaking nature spot and didn’t have to witness a bunch of strangers elbowing each other for the best selfie spot? Does it even bother you anymore?
Burning Man itself is no longer a refuge from this non-stop device-induced connectivity. A couple of years ago it obtained cell coverage, and whereas this might be valuable for the early access crews to facilitate coordination, it sure as hell has not added any value to the week of the Burn itself. I have always cherished those few days in the desert as the opportunity to truly disconnect, to forget about the rules we all have to follow in the default world; it was a place I could spend a week without as much as seeing a phone. Lo and behold, now they are everywhere. I swear I saw several people doing Facebook live from Mayan Warrior last year.
People don’t know how to be present anymore. It makes them uncomfortable, restless. I am so bothered whenever someone I am spending one-on-one time with, be it business or leisure, is on their phone in front of me. The experience of being shoved aside so easily, shown to your non-priority seating, is so profound to me each time, — and yet nobody seems to care or mind. People have grown completely un-self-aware. It’s one thing to be glued to your screen on your morning commute; but ignoring a living, breathing human being in front of you because your phone beeped? Come on, this is just plain rude, and why are we so eager to justify this on behalf of others? ‘Oh I need to take this, it’s my boss/husband/daughter/mother/doctor/cleaner…’ — said in this matter-of-fact manner, as if this is a totally acceptable social norm now. In merely a decade, social media and this cult of perpetual connectivity have trained us like a pack of Pavlov’s dogs, salivating for those notifications, likes and updates at a touch of a button, eager to drop everything to mindlessly engage, — and totally ignorant of how our conditioned reflex affects others around us.
And hey, I am not saying you should throw away your phone and go live in the woods. However, there are ways you can manage your obsession with connectivity, which will not only make your life better, but will also set a positive example to those around you. For instance, you can set a dedicated time in the day when you engage with your favourite platforms. When you are spending quality time with your partner, friend or family member, put your phone in sleep mode. Unless you are a surgeon on call, there can’t be anything there that can’t wait an hour to get your attention. Give the person you are sharing the time with the gift of your full presence: your thoughts, eyes and ears. Realise that connection is so much more precious than connectivity! Your bedroom should be an absolutely no-phone zone. Just buy a bloody alarm clock, they cost nothing. A bedroom is a sanctuary, a place you go to replenish yourself with sleep and lovemaking. It is a magical place; treat it with respect.
Perhaps, most importantly, practice self-awareness. Next time you whip your iPhone out of your pocket or handbag because of that unquenchable thirst, that urge that defies any reason or manners, look at yourself. Really, just have a momentary out-of-body experience and truly look at yourself. I am sorry to say, but — my fellow iPhone Army, we are sad as fuck. Compulsively fiddling with these precious devices of ours non-stop, we are missing the very life we are trying so hard to capture and share.
In the words of a friend, spoken at the 2017 Man Burn we could hardly see behind all the phone screens in front of us,
‘See it with your eyes, you might remember it.’
If you would like some more thoughts on Immediacy and its relationship with technology, here is a great talk that has inspired my own reflections on the topic.
